I have spent my entire adult life dedicated to the education of our nation's children. I have been an avid proponent of public education and I still am. I was also pretty against homeschooling. I would say things like, “I am a better mom with quality time but not the quantity of time” or “I could never teach my own kids, they would never listen to me” or “homeschool kids are weird”. Sound familiar?
Well, then I was forced to stay home, and let me tell you it was painful at first. I was anxious, antsy, felt overwhelmed as much as I was underwhelmed by the entire experience. I wrestled with it, a lot! It was not easy for me to stay home full time…at first. Then something very strange happened. With time and space, things began to unfold quietly in my home. My son was growing academically more than he ever did in a classroom. My daughter was more at peace because she could spend more time doing the things she loved and brought her joy. And I eventually became curious about how they learned, why they “needed” to learn something, and we eventually found our way to us. They are less stressed, more creative, and happier than I have ever seen them before. I am less stressed, more creative, and happier than I have ever been before.
Those who question the idea of homeschooling usually focus on one piece more than others…socialization. This was my very first question when I was considering staying home permanently, so I get it. It is a fair question because the vast majority of us were in school getting educated, and somewhere along the way, we decided that is also where important socialization happens. Well, today I am going to call “bullshit” on that.
I can tell you more times in school where an adult or peer negatively impacted the way I socialize today. “They” determined what was cool, normal, important, or acceptable. There was a necessary survival in school to conform or be rejected. Watching my own kids they don’t have any of that. Rylan and Tegan don’t look externally for what others think is cool, they are focused on what makes them come alive and do that. As a result, they are more creative, free, and authentic.
The other piece to socialization is the idea that socialization is children who are all the same age playing together and this seems to be our only understanding of socialization. What we neglect is the importance of having children learn how to talk to other adults, get to a park and have the ability to make new friends, creating community and connection with our family. Everyone needs to have a place of connection, I just don’t think it can only be found at school. We find connections with kids at ninja class, swim lessons, and at the park. We then find a deep meaningful connection in our cousins, at great-grandmas house, and in the conversations we have with our children.
Socialization is everywhere in the world and it doesn’t have to be where children determine their value or status as human beings. We get to teach them what healthy, kind, and fulfilling relationships look like so that one day they will be able to cultivate their own deep meaningful relationships.
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